Today is a special day. It’s the day I become truly free. Some people call it dying, but I call it leaving the constraints of this body and the cares of the bodily experience, and being free– truly free.
That’s me, with my human.
Her name’s Mom. My name’s Honey. Mom named me that. I thought it was because of my fur color, or my amber colored eyes, but nope, Mom says it’s because I am so sweet & the whole world should know it.
Before I tell you about my special day, let me tell you a little about my life with Mom.
Before I met Mom, I had a rough 3 years. I ended up living on the streets of Daegu, S. Korea and was picked up by a fireman who took me to an animal shelter. They took a picture of me and that’s how I won Mom’s heart- she volunteered at the shelter and saw the photo on the shelter’s Facebook webpage. The shelter was closing down and planning to euthanize all the remaining animals there. I thought that would’ve been my day to transition into freedom, but first I needed to experience this beautiful, life-changing thing called love.
Mom came to visit and take me to the vet. She read that I was sick, that I probably needed surgery on my injured leg. I had a really high fever, open wounds on my skin that were infected, a sinus infection, some heart issues, you can see that I needed to eat, and you already know about the leg.
I chose Mom because she’s brave. I knew she was strong enough to handle what would come our way in the next 11 months.
Mom couldn’t take me home that first day, she had to make arrangements, and I was a little scared for her to leave. OK, REALLY SCARED! I wanted her to come back and get me. I HOPED beyond hope that she would.
She took good care of me, wiping my nose, cleaning my wounds, giving me medicine several times a day, teaching me the rules, boundaries and limitations of her house.
LOL ~ I got blood everywhere~ the walls, the floor, the bed~ I would sneeze and it just went flying. Mom never complained and patiently cleaned things up, spoke kindly to me and showed me I could trust her. I’d never had someone love me like that before.
I did things for her too. I took her on lots of walks, about 6-8 a day. After a while, my injuries healed, my leg became strong, and we started jogging together……. I really liked that!
I even made dog friends! Life with Mom is so much better that my first 3 years!
Only trouble is: I have a problem with biting. It’s not solely my fault. I have a brain problem. They say “schizophrenia.” I don’t know what that means, exactly, I just know that I see and hear things that others don’t and they scare me– A LOT! I try to get away from them but I can’t. I even pee myself sometimes when I have “an episode” as Mom calls it. I had an episode last night & Mom cried. I guess it’s because she knows how hard they are for me and that they’ll end today. She’s very brave, Mom is. Every time I have bitten someone, she doesn’t freak out, even when it’s her I bite. She doesn’t hit me or say mean things. She reminds me that it’s bad behavior and I can’t do that, but always in firm love.
I LOVE MOM!
It’s been a whole month since I last bit anyone. The muzzle has helped a lot, even though I absolutely HATE it.
Which brings us to today. Today, Mom is allowing me to be free.
I know it’s really hard for her, she tried so many things to help me get better: different collars, special trainers, backpacks, different aromatherapies, Reiki, a behavior specialist, the list goes on. She just had a hard time accepting that I wasn’t going to get better, that I’d never stop biting people. You see, I literally am out of my mind sometimes and I can’t distinguish reality from the things going on in my head.
Finally, she realized what the only choice left was: she had to euthanize me.
Not only is Mom brave, but she is also a positive person. She said we’d make the most of our time left, do the things we enjoy doing together….and we did.
Last weekend, I got to play with Dukyu at my favorite spot. It was so much fun!
They even came back to the park today and played chase some more!
Can you imagine: A HUMAN— caring enough about ME, that she is COMFORTED by my presence!?! What a great life these past 11 months have been!
We played fetch, and I got to run around FREE … No muzzle. No collars. No backpack… just me, the wind, and the smell of freedom on the horizon. That’s what I imagine leaving this body feels like…. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.
Finally, it was time for the last stop: to see my friend, Dr. Nam. He loves me almost as much as I love him. This day was hard for him too. He cried, right alongside Mom as they helped me transition from this body into freedom. What a comfort to be with the the two humans I love the most on this earth, until the very last moment of my life on this earth. Mom massaged my head as I fell asleep. She kept saying, “I love you, Honey. Thank you. Thank you for everything.” as I made my way to the other side.
I love you too, Mom. And, THANK YOU! You showed me a love that I never knew existed. I gotta go now. Be brave. Keep running. I’ll be with you, even though not in this body, I’ll be there in Spirit, running right beside you– running FREE.